jocelyncee (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jocelyncee) wrote2005-05-16 10:42 pm
jocelyncee) wrote2005-05-16 10:42 pm
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Well, so much for that idea...
... of being productive. But it was a good day nonetheless.
After posting here, I made my bed, and immediately fell asleep in it, until about noon. I spent a lot of time this morning in thought and prayer, and I finished Everyday Grace. I have been marking places in the text (with little scraps of paper) at points that struck me as particularly profound or pertinent to my life. In the last couple of chapters, I think there is a bit of paper every two or three pages. In the last or next to last chapter, she actually tells my story. It is her own story, of course, but I related so completely to her experience that it may as well have been my story.
That took until 3 p.m. After having a late lunch, I finally sat down to some homework. That is still not done, but progress has been made. I went to see Kingdom of Heaven with Dory tonight (an interesting film, worth seeing, but probably not with your last $7.50).
So, now I'm home, and half-ready to go to bed, half-ready to stay up and work on my translation for Old French class tomorrow.
But none of that is really how my day was. It is what I did, but not how I was.
I was calm, and cheerful. I was grateful for my life as it is today, with every little snag, every miniscule delight. I felt restful, and deliberate. I felt confident that my life is exactly how t is supposed to be, and that I am exactly where I need to be, in order to become the person I am to become. I saw future possibilites without thinking them over-fanciful or deeming them childish; I looked at the past without condemning it or my part in it. I examined my life today, my feelings, my motives, my desires, and my fears, all without haste or reluctance. I know, with absolute certainty that I am being cared for, that I need not fret for the future, or dwell over the past.
Today is mine, without me ever having to take it. All I have to do is say "yes".
After posting here, I made my bed, and immediately fell asleep in it, until about noon. I spent a lot of time this morning in thought and prayer, and I finished Everyday Grace. I have been marking places in the text (with little scraps of paper) at points that struck me as particularly profound or pertinent to my life. In the last couple of chapters, I think there is a bit of paper every two or three pages. In the last or next to last chapter, she actually tells my story. It is her own story, of course, but I related so completely to her experience that it may as well have been my story.
That took until 3 p.m. After having a late lunch, I finally sat down to some homework. That is still not done, but progress has been made. I went to see Kingdom of Heaven with Dory tonight (an interesting film, worth seeing, but probably not with your last $7.50).
So, now I'm home, and half-ready to go to bed, half-ready to stay up and work on my translation for Old French class tomorrow.
But none of that is really how my day was. It is what I did, but not how I was.
I was calm, and cheerful. I was grateful for my life as it is today, with every little snag, every miniscule delight. I felt restful, and deliberate. I felt confident that my life is exactly how t is supposed to be, and that I am exactly where I need to be, in order to become the person I am to become. I saw future possibilites without thinking them over-fanciful or deeming them childish; I looked at the past without condemning it or my part in it. I examined my life today, my feelings, my motives, my desires, and my fears, all without haste or reluctance. I know, with absolute certainty that I am being cared for, that I need not fret for the future, or dwell over the past.
Today is mine, without me ever having to take it. All I have to do is say "yes".