![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jocelynceeThanks, sister. I think I needed that...
So, here it is.
I have been having random discussions about relationships with equally random people lately, specifically concerning the role of the female in a romantic/committed relationship. Most often the discussion has been based on biblical writings, including the (in)famous "Wives, submit to your husbands..."
Now, I've been round and round on this topic with a few people, and this is my perspective: The only way I can take that verse is one translation that reads "Wives, respect your husbands..." which translates in my head as "he's a grown man, you don't have to be his mother". I heard somewhere that even this respect means that women should go with what their husband decides on, no matter what it is, in order to show respect. Now, when this is a decision that affects just him, great. No problem with that. It's the idea that some man is going to be making decisions for both of us or for just me that I can't comprehend.
I must be a strange individual. I believe that a true partnership is possible between a man and a woman, where each person's needs are met, and each has both love and respect for each other, as well as for themselves. This is not 50/50, this is 100/100. This is what I want, what I hope for from a partner, and what I expect from myself.
I don't want to talk about my rights as a woman. I'd rather talk about my rights as a human being. Yes, there are differences between the sexes, and rightly so. Who would want to spend his life with a clone of himself? The differences make it interesting, but I wonder sometimes if we don't forget how much we really have in common with each other. The commonality can bring us together, if only we let it.
Great rant from a woman without a relationship. I've been far too dependent on having a man in my life, which is part of the reason why I resent the thought that I have to have one. Don't get me wrong -- I want that kind of relationship in my life, so much sometimes that I rush into things when I see the mere possibility of it in a new person. But the fact remains that I have been so eager to have that wonderful situation in my life that I have literally given up parts of myself in pursuit of that goal. That is what I know is harmful to me, and it is that sort of behavior that I visualize when someone quotes that bible verse. This is why I want something completely different than what society dictates should happen -- that I will somehow fall in love with the man of my dreams, so much that I will do anything for him, anything to make him happy, even if it means harm to my innermost self.
What society doesn't know is that I've already fallen in love like that, much more than once. I've also had guys claim to be that in love with me, which is all very well and good. What I'm looking for is a man who will not only love me, but respect me for who I am, the same way that I will love and respect him.
This break in relationships is purposeful, and will serve one: with any luck, I will learn that I am a whole human being without a man, so that when the time comes, I can be that whole self in a relationship with a wonderful person, with whom I can intimately share this journey.
I try to live in hope without expectation.
Crossposted onsaxysai:
Jason's argument: Women should do this [display their bodies in a sexual manner in the music business] if they want to because if their fans want it they should do it.
Okay, that was seven kinds of contradictory. Just like society. The laws of supply and demand do apply in the music business, but the fact is that the loudest demands aren't always the ones you have to pay attention to.
Now, if what we consider 'whoring oneself out' is what floats the boat of the woman in question, great. If Christina, Beyonce, etc. are happy doing what they're doing, more power to them. Juliana doesn't want to, wouldn't be happy with it, decided and acted accordingly. Again, kudos to her.
Pretentious and self-righteous for doing what you want in life? Tell that to a man... I believe that would be considered normal in the male. So why is it so negative in the female? Because we're supposed to be loving and nurturing, giving ourselves up for others? (How exactly is getting breast implants nurturing, I ask you?)
Okay, so I've been having issues lately with the role of the female in relationships, seeing as how I am one, and not in any at the moment. I feel a lengthy post coming on...
So, here it is.
I have been having random discussions about relationships with equally random people lately, specifically concerning the role of the female in a romantic/committed relationship. Most often the discussion has been based on biblical writings, including the (in)famous "Wives, submit to your husbands..."
Now, I've been round and round on this topic with a few people, and this is my perspective: The only way I can take that verse is one translation that reads "Wives, respect your husbands..." which translates in my head as "he's a grown man, you don't have to be his mother". I heard somewhere that even this respect means that women should go with what their husband decides on, no matter what it is, in order to show respect. Now, when this is a decision that affects just him, great. No problem with that. It's the idea that some man is going to be making decisions for both of us or for just me that I can't comprehend.
I must be a strange individual. I believe that a true partnership is possible between a man and a woman, where each person's needs are met, and each has both love and respect for each other, as well as for themselves. This is not 50/50, this is 100/100. This is what I want, what I hope for from a partner, and what I expect from myself.
I don't want to talk about my rights as a woman. I'd rather talk about my rights as a human being. Yes, there are differences between the sexes, and rightly so. Who would want to spend his life with a clone of himself? The differences make it interesting, but I wonder sometimes if we don't forget how much we really have in common with each other. The commonality can bring us together, if only we let it.
Great rant from a woman without a relationship. I've been far too dependent on having a man in my life, which is part of the reason why I resent the thought that I have to have one. Don't get me wrong -- I want that kind of relationship in my life, so much sometimes that I rush into things when I see the mere possibility of it in a new person. But the fact remains that I have been so eager to have that wonderful situation in my life that I have literally given up parts of myself in pursuit of that goal. That is what I know is harmful to me, and it is that sort of behavior that I visualize when someone quotes that bible verse. This is why I want something completely different than what society dictates should happen -- that I will somehow fall in love with the man of my dreams, so much that I will do anything for him, anything to make him happy, even if it means harm to my innermost self.
What society doesn't know is that I've already fallen in love like that, much more than once. I've also had guys claim to be that in love with me, which is all very well and good. What I'm looking for is a man who will not only love me, but respect me for who I am, the same way that I will love and respect him.
This break in relationships is purposeful, and will serve one: with any luck, I will learn that I am a whole human being without a man, so that when the time comes, I can be that whole self in a relationship with a wonderful person, with whom I can intimately share this journey.
I try to live in hope without expectation.
