tiredness...
Apr. 14th, 2005 09:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jocelynceeWow. I haven't been this emotionally drained in a while. It was a day for grieving, worry, and random fits of hormone-induced crying. Listening to highly emotional music for the last few days hasn't helped much either, I'm sure.
And the great (read: hard to comprehend) thing here is that my life has been unexpectedly wonderful for the last week. I apparently couldn't take so much joy in such a short amount of time without it stirring up everything else. *sigh* Hormones are great for bringing out the cry-baby girly-girl in me when I least expect it.
I took a good long while in the woods today, sitting in a little glen I discovered, just far enough off the gravel paths to really be in the woods, and not just in a park. I thought about everything, too... about being here, being single, exes, ailing relatives, and those dear to me, near and far.
I am having a really hard time just being lately. I keep wanting to make plans and force solutions, and I know none of that works. But I had a good talk over dinner with Katie tonight, and that helped a good bit. I took a little 'me' time afterward, and that was as good.
Life is wonderful... as long as quit looking for things to go wrong. God help me to see the beautiful things in life... people, animals....
There were stars tonight. I saw them on my way home. I really saw them - I was awestruck. That's how I know I'm feeling better.
And the great (read: hard to comprehend) thing here is that my life has been unexpectedly wonderful for the last week. I apparently couldn't take so much joy in such a short amount of time without it stirring up everything else. *sigh* Hormones are great for bringing out the cry-baby girly-girl in me when I least expect it.
I took a good long while in the woods today, sitting in a little glen I discovered, just far enough off the gravel paths to really be in the woods, and not just in a park. I thought about everything, too... about being here, being single, exes, ailing relatives, and those dear to me, near and far.
I am having a really hard time just being lately. I keep wanting to make plans and force solutions, and I know none of that works. But I had a good talk over dinner with Katie tonight, and that helped a good bit. I took a little 'me' time afterward, and that was as good.
Life is wonderful... as long as quit looking for things to go wrong. God help me to see the beautiful things in life... people, animals....
There were stars tonight. I saw them on my way home. I really saw them - I was awestruck. That's how I know I'm feeling better.
