alright, god dammit....

[jocelyncee]

I have had enough.

I have had enough of my own cowardice. I am sick to death of living by other people's rules. I am tired of giving a shit about what other people think.

I am a dancer. I move to music, whether you can hear it or not. I am a singer. I sing when I want to, where I want to. I sing for the same reason that other people breathe. What the fuck am I doing, worrying whether or not anyone hears me? What do I care if they're too afraid to sing for themselves?

When have I ever cared for the status-fucking-quo????

I am better than all this. I deserve all the marrow I can suck out of this existance, and all the joy, pain, laughter, tears, love, lust and passion I can get. Why am I sitting here on the sidelines, waiting for life to happen to me?

It's mine, god dammit. And not a person out there can live it for me, or give it the shape I want. I am standing on the brink, at the jumping off place.

Just watch me fly.

Comments

[imaginekp.livejournal.com]

Ooh...what brought this on...something specific to today, or is this an extension of you "Another Dammit Moment" entry?

[jocelyncee.livejournal.com]

I think it's a little of both. I've been feeling, well... stifled. Like I'm not being Jocelyn, and it's something I get pissed off at when I notice it and I think I'm not doing anything about it.

As to what brought it about yesterday, it was listening to Sondheim (Everybody Says 'Don't'). (Damn that man for making me think about my life! ;)