another drunk post

Yes, no one reading this will understand why this is called "another" drunk post... the first 'drunk post' was never public. Too much blatant honesty there, with too many names.

I wanted to get drunker tonight. (Yes, Katie, you'll worry about that, I know.) I find that when I get tipsy, I don't want people to leave me. It seems that I'm never ready to go home. That is something to be aware of, I suppose.

I wanted very much for Nick to be online tonight... someone I know I could talk to, and who I know would tell me I'm beautiful if I asked. I've heard that twice today from complete strangers, and right now it's not enough.

I think that I am more intensely myself when drunk. What I mean by this: I show my insecurities more, I am more defensive, I am more giving, more affectionate... just more everything. I guess I'm less afraid of being who I am... but I may just be more desperate. In my current state I can't really tell.

Katie's birthday was today, and we had dinner: Lyndsey, Anders, Ragnar, Bobby, Katie and me. Later on in the evening some seemingly random German guy (very drunk) came by, and squatted down between me and Katie. He flirted with Katie, then when she extricated herself from said unwanted affections, he started flirting with me. I removed myself from the situation (temporarily) by following Ragnar to his room to partake of the Hennessey Cognac and Coke he had. (Thanks, Ragnar, I did need that. :)

Anyway, within 10 mintues of my return, drunken boy started asking all the English speaking people at the table how do say he liked my boobs.

Not long after this, Bobby left to go to the party next door... Anders then left for home, and Ragnar followed suit. This was my cue to leave.

I was not ready to be alone again, but I certainly didn't want to be around the drunken fellow who also smelled heavily of cigarettes.

So, anyway... Katie was kind enough not to kick me out very quickly. I didn't want to go yet. I still don't want to be alone, but it's 1:30 almost, and I'm going to an SCA event tomorrow, and I have to be alive enough to at least finish packing the right things in the a.m.

I hate being sensible sometimes.

It's July now. I've been single for almost 6 months. The longest stretch ever.

May God help me stay that way.

random quiz again, this time via madscott

You are the Moon card. Entering the Moon we enter
the intuitive and psychic realms. This is the
stuff dreams are made on. And like dreams the
imagery we find here may inspire us or torment
us. Understanding the moon requires looking
within. Our own bodily rhythms are echoed in
this luminary that circles the earth every
month and reflects the sun in its progress.
Listening to those rhythms may produce visions
and lead you towards insight. The Moon is a
force that has legends attached to it. It
carries with it both romance and insanity.
Moonlight reveals itself as an illusion and it
is only those willing to work with the force of
dreams that are able to withstand this
reflective light. Image from: Stevee Postman.
http://www.stevee.com/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
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another similar quiz

ADJUSTMENT
"the mediator, adjuster,
arbitrator"
You have a deep love for simplicity, clarity,
fairness, and balance. You have a great
ability to edit, synthesize, and research
ideas. Your sites are turned inwards, as shown
on the card by the masked eyes. Alpha and
Omega are symbolic of your need to complete
that which you begin. You have little
tolerance of complexity, as shown by the
webbing in the background.


which major arcana of the thoth tarot deck are you? short, with pictures and detailed results
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